Guide: Retro Friday: “AOL Sucks”

For many thousands of people, America Online (AOL) was the first ISP they ever used to access the Internet.  In fact, it was my first way to get on the Internet, but it didn’t last long because the local access number was a long distance call.  (My local phone company ended up offering local ISP access and that’s what I ended up using.)

Sucks in this context translates to “is bad”, and yes, I use it regularly when writing articles because the word just works so well. Everyone knows what it means, even if it ends up as an excerpt (eg “What exactly suck? Eggs? Feet? Balloons? Cheeseburgers?”) In the early days of the Internet, the two most common cases of sucks were mostly focused on Microsoft (both for IE and for the company itself) and AOL. If you search the internet for aol sucks these days, you will usually find seriously old web pages with seriously lengthy doubts from those who had bad experiences with America Online software and service. Here are a few examples of old crunchy aol-sucking web pages that are just plain ridiculous when read:

Why AOL Sucks (Part I of III, No Less) AOL sucks (doesn’t seem to have been updated in years) WHY I THINK AOL SUCKS AOL Sux (warning, has crappy Java) Aol SUCKS

… and of course there is this video:

What really made AOL stupid?

AOL’s drowsiness came through a common thread that happens to many American companies that are becoming too popular: Over-selling the service. The cycle of overselling is this: As mentioned above, this cycle is very common among major US companies. Certain department store chains, wireless carriers, and a bunch of other big, well-known companies just can’t handle success. And in all respects, it is strictly forbidden to say no to new customers, even though the company has more than enough to make everyone happy. The almighty dollar mostly rules, I think. AOL has completely reinvented itself these days, focusing almost exclusively on web properties rather than direct consumer issues. And to be fair, they do a very good job of it. Sites such as Huffington Post and TechCrunch are AOL properties, as well as a number of others. AOL today is not the one you remember because it is a very different animal now, and a much better one in my opinion; it seems they have learned from their past mistakes. But still it’s funny to look back at all the “AOL SUCKS!” web pages from years ago.

Retro Friday: “AOL Sucks”: benefits

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